How to Get Out of Feeling Blah
Hey, it’s David Bayer. Thank you so much for being here with me. First today, I just want to really acknowledge you because I know, if you’re watching this video, it’s probably not the first video of mine that you’ve watched and you’re on this journey of continuing to develop, and transform, and cultivate who you are so that you can create an extraordinary life. It’s my commitment, as always, to support you in that. And so, today, I want to give you one of those nuanced distinctions. It’s one of those things that’s going to come up for you on your journey. It’s going to cause you to think, “What the heck is going on with me today? What do I do? Am I falling back into my old patterns? Am I slipping back out of my own personal development? Am I back where I started?” The answer is, no, you’re not. It’s just part of the process. But, I want to talk about those days where you feel incongruent with the incredible things that are going on with your life. In other words, life is going great. Work is going great or your business is going great. Relationships are going well. You’re doing well. You’re in a regular routine that you’re proud of. You’re showing up in life the way that you want to be showing up, but somehow it doesn’t feel good. You feel kind of – I guess the way we would describe it is, blah, right?
I have a friend who called me with this the other day. He said, “I don’t know what’s going on. Everything is amazing, but I’m feeling blah and now I’m finding myself getting irritable like I used to get irritable. I’m judging people like I used to judge people. Those old thoughts of I’m not good enough, and am I doing enough, and is it ever going to happen for me and comparing myself to the other people are coming back.” He said, “I feel like I’m back at square one.” So, you’re not back at square one. One of the interesting things about personal, or spiritual, or psychological development is that it’s cyclical. It’s like seasons. But, the reality is that you’re growing like this. You’re growing in an upward spiral. Oftentimes, you hit the same part of the spiral that you were at when you were at a lower level and it feels very similar. But, there are new distinctions that are happening. So, this is actually a really great place to be in, when you’re feeling blah, and I want to explain to you what happens with most people with this experience.
So, what happens is uncertainty has crept back into your life. There was a period of time where you were feeling very, very certain. You were certain about yourself. You were certain about the direction you were going in with your passion and your purpose. You were certain about your relationships. You were certain about your business. And uncertainty has crept back in, and the mind cannot tolerate uncertainty. What’s so interesting about these times when we just feel blah, when we feel incongruent with the greatness of the life that is around us, is that there’s not one big, bodacious problem that’s staring at us. In fact, that’d be a lot easier to deal with. We could just apply all of our tools to that problem. We could say, “I know
working for me, not against me. What is it that’s inside of me that’s created this thing? What kind of new decisions do I want to make now that I’ve experienced this contrast in my life of this thing that doesn’t feel very good?” We could deal with that one thing. But, what’s happened is there have been a bunch of tiny, little things that have crept back into your life and you haven’t realized it.
So, what we need to do is we need to start to chunk it down. I’m going to give you an example. Let’s say, for example, you were baking bread. So, you had a big bowl of dough and I came and I sprinkled a little bit of cayenne pepper in. That’s the uncertainty. You could bake your bread and you probably wouldn’t notice. But, if I sprinkled enough cayenne pepper into your bread, you’d have a spicy sourdough and it wouldn’t taste very good. That’s what’s happened to your life. There’s been enough uncertainty that’s been sprinkled in just under the radar that you’re getting indigestion with your own life. So, they key is for you to stop. Stop everything because the tendency is going to be to try to do more to make up for this not feeling enough. Stop everything and really look at it and say, “What’s the number one thing that’s causing me distress in my life right now?” and identify it. Look at that and do the work around it. Say, “Okay, this thing is happening over here. I’ve got some beliefs that are showing up around this thing. Is that true? I’m making this mean something about myself or about other people. I’m being resentful. I’m not having compassion here. I’m not having gratitude.” Do your work around that one thing and then look at the next thing. Say, “What’s the next thing that’s causing a little bit of discomfort in my life?”
I find it very, very helpful to actually outline out all of the things that are causing me discomfort, which ultimately means all the things that are creating uncertainty in my life, all the things that are creating fear, and to just sort of tackle each one at a time. You can do this in 15 to 20 minutes. What’s happening, when you do this, is that you’re taking this discomfort that’s operating at the subconscious level and you’re making it conscious. You’re able to work with it. You’re able to deal with it. It’s like, once you see it, it’s not that big of a problem. The problem is when you can’t see it. It’s like getting into a boxing ring and fighting an invisible boxer. You simply can’t win.
So, what you need to do is you need to chunk it all it down. Then, I suggest you go back to some self-acknowledgement. Self-acknowledgement, self-esteem, gratitude – appreciate all the things that you’re accomplishing in your life. Realize you’re not falling back into old patterns. You’re moving on to a new level and just appreciate the fact that you’re doing this work that’s so few people do. We all get so attached to the outcomes of our life and, as you’ve probably seen in other videos, I encourage you to focus on the process because you can’t control the outcomes. But, you can control how you show up in life. So, take a moment to just appreciate the fact that you’re doing this work, that you’re on this journey, that you’re on this path, that you’re in this conversation because, frankly, you’re in the top 1%, 2%, 3% of people who are doing the most important work you could possibly be doing. If you do that, if you chunk it down, if you do your work around each of those individual components, if you have a little bit of self-acknowledgement, self-esteem, and gratitude, I guarantee you can shift your state like that. You’ll be back into living in congruence with the incredible life you’ve created around you.
So, I hope that’s been helpful for you today. As always, I suggest you subscribe to my YouTube channel. If you haven’t had a chance yet, come over to Facebook.com. We’re always doing really cool things there. And check out DavidBayer.com. If you’re not on my list, subscribe because that’s the place where I release unique trainings from time to time, which I don’t release anywhere else.
So, many, many blessings. Claim your power. Live your purpose. Love your life. I will see you soon.