How to Stay Unattached to Your Outcomes

How to Stay Unattached to Your Outcomes


Hey, it’s David Bayer, and I want to thank you so much for being here today. Today, I want to talk to you about an age-old paradox. It’s this idea that we should be unattached to our outcomes, that somehow we should be okay when the stuff that we really, really want doesn’t happen. Buddha talks about it. All the eastern teachings talk about it. They talk about how life is suffering unless somehow you can be unattached to the outcomes of it. But, at the same time, you look at the creative principles. You look at something like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, or The New Thought Movement, or The Science of Mind Movement and they were very, very clear that you have to know what you want. You have to know what you want, you have to have a burning desire for it, and you have to take massive action towards it if you want to bring it into the world.

So, how do we reconcile these two ideas? How do we put everything that we’ve got in an effort towards what we want to create or who we want to be in the world, but at the same time, if it doesn’t work out the way that we want it to, despite the fact that we’ve put all of our blood, and sweat, and tears into it, we’re okay with it?

Well, the answer is to focus on the process, and here’s what I mean. Yes, it’s very important for you to have clarity on what you want. Clarity enrolls the brain. If you’ve watched any of my videos, if you’ve been involved in any of my work, you know that central to this conversation around science, and spirituality, and psychology is the brain. So, every time we know what we want, the brain actually imagines it. We build new neurosynaptic connections that support attracting the ideas, seeing the opportunities in front of us, and activating the power of coincidence. The problem is that, when we know what we want and we’re taking massive action towards it, we get attached to it. Then, the mind starts to say, “Well, what if it doesn’t happen? What if I’m making the wrong decision? This isn’t going the way that I expected?” And, ultimately, that resistance is dissipating our mental energy. It’s dissipating our creative energy because, if creating what we want in the world is a matter of putting our consistent, concentrated, focused attention on its outcome, anything other than that is distracting us from creating. So, all of the worry, all of the doubt, all of the fear, and all of the indecision is sapping your creative potential. It’s literally slowing down your process of creating whatever you want in the world. So, what do we do to deal with that?

Well, what we essentially do is we focus on the process. So, once you know what you want, you’re going to start to get ideas and it’s your job to start to take action around those ideas. But, from there, the outcome is not up to you. All that’s up to you is whether or not you execute on the plan that you came up with. Now, that may sound easy, but it’s really not because doubt, and fear, and worry, and overwhelm prevent people like you and me from actually executing on the action plans that we start to construct. It’s not that people don’t know what to do and they fail. It’s that they don’t execute on what they know they should be doing.

So, when you start looking at whether or not you are successful in any endeavor in your life, you can’t base your success on the results. You can’t base your success on the outcome because you can’t control that. Set yourself up for success by defining success as whether or not you actually execute on your plan. Focus on the process rather than the outcome. I’ll give you a quick example. I was running around the lake the other day outside of my house and, as I was running, I saw a little baby toy on the ground. I noticed about a half a mile back I had passed two women who were pushing strollers with babies in the carriage. As I was running by the baby toy, I thought to myself this is a moment where I decide who I want to be. Do I want to be the guy who runs by the baby toy and comes up with some excuse or some assumption that it’s not their baby toy? Or, do I want to be the guy who grabs the toy, runs the half mile back, and gives them the toy despite the fact that I’m not quite sure whether or not it was theirs? So, I said, “That’s an easy decision. I want to be the guy who runs back.” So, I grabbed the toy. I ran the half mile back. I approached the two women and I said, “Is this your baby toy that you dropped a half a mile in the other direction?” Their answer was, “No.” But, for me, that was a success, not because it was their toy, but because I executed on the plan. I followed the process that was important to me. Does that make sense?

All you need to do is have clarity and know what you want. From there, you follow your action plan. You focus on the process and, in that way, you can become completely unattached to the outcome. You can trust that, if you do this time and time again, even though we may not get what we want in the end, there is this infinite intelligence that is ultimately guiding us to our best purpose, our best results, our highest abundance, and that force is in action, and that as long as you follow your process, you’ll ultimately create the life that you want to live.

I hope this has been helpful for you. It is a paradox that had been troubling me for years on how I could be unattached, but still have massive desire for what I what I want in the world. The answer, as I mentioned, is focus on the process.

Many, many blessings. If you haven’t had a chance yet, subscribe to my YouTube channel, would you? Come on and join us over at Facebook or headover to and subscribe to my newsletter. I’m always providing unique trainings and information through my newsletter list. So, many, many blessings. Have an incredible, incredible day and I will see you soon.

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